Jake’s Storytime Part 2

Previously on Jake’s Storytime: Jake “I”m Cool” Smythe established himself as an egotistical guy who loves to bowl. We last left him having made the decision that today was the day he would make his crush, Sally, see sense and fall for him.

Jake’s wind was knocked out of sails when he didn’t see Sally behind the counter. How would he make her like him? Everyone else does, why doesn’t she?

Jake sat down at his usual lane – #1 – and began to put on his bowling shoes. As he was slipping into the second shoe he happened to glance up and saw a strike being bowled about 6 lanes over. Jake forgot all about Sally when thoughts of finding a true competitor flooded his brain.

He got up to find out who this fella was that rolled a perfect hook. He wanted to see if the guy was interested in a little friendly throw down. If Jake was truly the best in town, he wanted to prove it.

When Jake arrived at the lane he was surprised to find Sally standing there. Who was she here with? Why wasn’t she working? Was this a date? Where did that guy go? Does she think he is a better bowler than me and that’s why she won’t go out with me?

Jake had never before seen such fury in another person’s eyes when he was finished asking his reasonable and logical questions. Must be typical female hysteria.

But his mouth couldn’t stop from dropping open when she said that it was her that was bowling in this lane and her alone.

A girl threw that hook?! Challenging another guy to a game was one thing; he had never had to challenge a girl. But he knew that was his only option. To be the best you had to beat the best.

Fury in her eyes was replaced by something else, something he couldn’t quite name when he suggested a competition. Whatever it was, she agreed with a handshake.

For every strike Jake threw, Sally would spare and for his every spare, Sally would strike. It came down to the final frame. If Jake turkeyed, he’d win.

He got his first two strikes. He needed just one more. He rubbed down his ball with his towel, let his fingers feel the gentle caress of the fan. With his mind focused, he stood three boards to the left, step, step, arm back, step, forward and release.

It felt like an eternity as the ball rolled down the alley…

finally hooking….

one pin, two, three four five, six, seven eight, nine….

the ten pin was left wobbling wavering back and forth…

and then…

it fell.

Jake had won.

And when he turned to look at Sally she was smiling

It was respect he had seen in her eyes. That he, with that huge chip on his shoulder, would deign to see her as an equal and not some girl he could win over with his charm.

to be continued…

© Lindsay M. Hinkle 2007

Jake’s Storytime Part 1

This was written completely over iChat to a co-worker named Jake on the day the office was being treated to an afternoon at a bowling alley as a goodbye party to a longtime employee.

Once upon a time around mid-April there was a guy named Jake who was pumped about bowling.

How he did enjoy the game of bowling, the smell of the alley, the feel of the shoes, the the shine of balls.

The energy that would flow through his veins just pulling into the parking lot was enough to light his whole neighborhood for a week!

Once it was his turn to bowl, he would pick up his ball, wipe it down with his lucky towel made for him by his mother on which she embroidered “Mr. Jakeykins I’m-Cool II”.

After this he would let his fingers feel the gentle caress of the fan like breath from fairies. With his mind focused, he would stand three boards to the left, step, step, arm back, step, forward, and release.

Silence would follow until naturally all the pins had fallen – another perfect strike. But that’s not the only reason Jake liked bowling…

Sally. Sally worked at the bowling alley to help out her uncle. Sally was a beauty, Aphrodite on earth. Sally could have any man she wanted.

Sally was a challenge. A challenge for Jake as he didn’t understand why she turned him down each time he asked her out.

He didn’t understand why a guy like him couldn’t get Sally. The fact that he asked her out was a compliment. He wanted only the best. Demanded it. And Sally was the best.

Every other girl he had asked out had been thrilled to even be chosen by him – Jake “I’m-Cool” Smythe. He would take them here to the bowling alley where he would score perfect 300s every game. And where he could watch Sally to try and figure out what her problem was. And as he enters the bowling alley today, he knows today will be the day. Today he will make Sally see sense!

to be continued…

© Lindsay M. Hinkle 2007

The Pods

_bonjour pod listThis is a screenshot of my bonjour availability/mood line resulting from a project at work where a co-worker and I were each in charge of one of the two teams that were assigned to the task. I believe our supervisor came up with the word Pod for each team and my co-worker and I, though thinking it was rather dismissive, ran with it. Each day we came up with a new name for our respective Pods. As the list shows I went the hip hop route. I, unfortunately, to not recall what theme my co-worker went with. A fun way to pass the time. Sorry it is so tiny.

Grammar Hammer

(to the tune of MC Hammer’s U Can’t Touch This)

Can’t spell this/Can’t write this/Can’t spell this/Can’t write this

My, my, my grammar hits me so hard/Makes me say “oh my word”/Sentences be filling me/In my mind all these verbs I see/It feels good when spelled correct/Adjective, noun, or predicate/And I’m known as such/The Grammar Hammer, you can’t touch

I told you, schoolboy (can’t spell this)/Yeah, that’s how we scribing and you know (can’t write this)/Look at these words, man (can’t spell this)/Yo, let me bust the funky parlance

Give me a phrase or diction/Turn those toos to twos, did I mention/They’re not their/You listen to Grammar Hammer, he really does care/A Wordsmith and hip/A comma for the clause, don’t you trip/And do remember/A pause doesn’t mean one you must enter/Ante-cedent/Either work hard or you might as well quit

Yo, I told you (can’t spell this)/Why you standing there, man (can’t write this)/Yo, sound the bell. Grammar school’s in, pupil (can’t spell this)

That’s the word because you wrote…..

Can’t spell this/Can’t write this/Jot it down!/Stop. Grammar Time!

Every time you scrawl/The grammar’s got to be tight/I’m boss on the pen and I’m wicked with the type/Now why would I ever stop revising you?/With others making blunders, they just won’t do/I’ve taught around the slang, from fo shizzle to mmmkay/It’s “Grammar, Go Grammar, Grammar Hammer, Yo Grammar”/And the rest can go and say.

Can’t spell this/Can’t write this/Can’t spell this/Can’t write this/Can’t spell this/Can’t write this/Can’t spell this/Can’t write this

© copyright Lindsay M. Hinkle 2009